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Information for women who are or have experienced domestic violence
How to get help…
Knowing what to do when the person you love is violent or abusive can be very confusing and frightening. You don't have to deal with this on your own. There are services like DVIP's Women's Support Service which can help and support you.
Who can use DVIP's Women's Support Service?
Our full services are available to two groups of women:
- Women whose partner or ex-partner is a client of the Violence Prevention Programme
- Any woman living in the London Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham
What if I don't fall into one of these groups?
If you are a woman experiencing domestic violence but you don't fall into one of these groups, we are unable to offer our full services to you, but we are always happy to have a quick chat to help you find local services that can help you. We have a large resources bank of information to point you in the right direction.
If I do live in Hammersmith & Fulham or have an (ex)partner attending the Violence Prevention Programme, how can DVIP help me?
Safety planning
We want you to be as safe as you can, whatever your decision about your relationship. You won't be able to stop his violence or abuse to you - only he can do that. But there may be things you can do to increase your own safety. Our workers will help you to work out some safety strategies.
Emotional support
Experiencing violence and abuse from the person you love can have a tremendous impact on your physical, emotional and mental health. The effects of this can stay with you for a long time. WSS can help you talk about what happened to you, explore your feelings, understand how your experiences have affected you and continue to affect you, focus on yourself and your own needs and regain control of your life.
General information
We have a whole range of information on refuges, legal and housing matters, children's issues and lots of other services that may be of use to you.
Information about the work that DVIP does with men
DVIP offers a Violence Prevention Programme for men who have been violent and abusive towards a partner or ex-partner. We offer complete openness to women about the work we do on this programme. We always put women's safety at the centre of all the work we do
Will you give me advice and tell me what I should do?
We are not here to tell you what you should do. Only you can decide what is right for you. Some women choose to stay with their partner, some choose to leave, some have already left. There is no right or wrong as everyone's situation is different. We want to help you find out what is best for you right now, so that you can take control of your own life and make the best decisions for yourself .
We offer several different kinds of support - you can choose which will be most useful for you.
- Telephone support
You can phone us when you want to talk about things, sometimes we might ring you to see how you are.
- Face-to-face sessions
You can book an individual session to talk to one of our woman workers face-to-face, to get support and help you to plan for your safety.
- Women's support group
Our women's group is a safe and friendly place to meet with other women who have been through domestic violence and abuse, to share your experiences and to give and receive support.
- Workshops
We also run a series of workshops which aim to help you explore and make some sense of your experiences of domestic violence.
What about confidentiality?
Your (ex)partner will never be told whether or not we are in contact with you or about anything you talk with us about. Our main aim is to increase your own and your children's safety. The only limit to your confidentiality is that, in line with our child protection policy, if we have reason to believe a child is at risk, we will take steps to protect that child - we will always attempt to do this alongside you.
If he comes to the Violence Prevention Programme will he change?
There are absolutely no guarantees that a man will change his behaviour and beliefs if he attends the Violence Prevention Programme. He is the only one that has the power to change - and he may choose not to. However, most men who complete the VPP groupwork programme change to some degree.
You are the best judge of whether he is changing or not and whether the changes he makes are enough for you. Talk it through with a worker and trust your own feelings.
Some questions to help you monitor whether he is changing:
- Has he stopped saying and doing things which frighten you?
- Can you express your anger towards him without being punished for it?
- Does he respect your wishes about sex and physical contact?
- Can you spend time with friends without him punishing you for it?
- Are you comfortable about the way he interacts with the children?
- Can he argue without being abusive or domineering?
- Can you wear what you like?
- Does he do his share of the house work and child care?
Some signs he is not changing:
- Is he still being violent or abusive?
- Does he pressure you to go into counselling?
- Does he try to get you or the children to feel sorry for him?
- Does he expect something in return from you for the fact that he is attending the programme?
- Is he pointing out to you how your behaviour is abusive?
- Does he use material he gets on the programme against you?
Getting Help…
Contacting DVIP's Women's Support Service
- Phone us on 020 8748 6512. If you get the answering machine please leave a message and let us know how we can safely contact you.
- Email us at wss@dvip.org
- Write to us at DVIP, PO Box 2838, London, W6 9ZE
Other organisations who can help
Domestic Violence agencies
Women's Aid (WAFE) Helpline: 0345 023 468 / www.womensaid.org.uk
Refuge Helpline (24 hrs) for women's aid refuges in London: 0990 995443
In an emergency
Police: 999
Samaritans: 0345 909 090
Legal Support and information in London
Rights of Women (ROW): 020 7251 6577
Housing Advice
Shelter Advice Line: 0808 800 4444
Information on women's services in London
Women's Resource Centre (WIRE): 020 7729 4011
Children's services
Childline: 0800 1111
NSPCC Child Protection Helpline (24hrs): 0800 800 500
Parent line: 0808 800 2222
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