Have you abused your partner or ex-partner in any of the following ways?:
Physical abuse:
Hit, pushed, grabbed, slapped, punched, kicked, choked, pulled hair, thrown things.
Threats and intimidation:
Threats to harm your partner or her friends, punching walls or doors and smashing things.
Sexual abuse:
Forcing sex or specific sexual acts, pressuring her for sex, sulking or punishing her for not giving you sexual favours.
Jealousy or isolating behaviour:
Trying to control who she sees, checking up on her, stopping her from seeing particular friends or family.
Emotional abuse:
Constant criticism and put-downs, humiliation, laughing at her, ignoring her.
Using kids:
Threatening to hurt the children, saying she won't see the kids if she leaves you, putting her down in front of the children.
Financial abuse:
Controlling her money, making her feel like she has to beg for things,
- If you have used any of these behaviours towards a partner, you are being abusive.
- No matter how angry you feel it is never all right to scare or hurt your partner.
- If you want to stop, DVIP's Violence Prevention Programme can help you change.
Who is the Violence Prevention Programme for?
Any man who wants to end his abusive behaviour towards a female partner or ex-partner. DVIP welcomes men of all ethnic groups, ages, class, religions and abilities or disabilities.
How Do I Get An Appointment?
You can contact DVIP yourself. We will take your details and send you an information pack. There may be a waiting list but as soon as a place becomes available we will contact you to arrange a first interview.
About the Women's Support Service
The Women's Support Service will contact your (ex)-partner after you have been referred to DVIP. The Women's Support Service will offer her information on the programme and help her focus on her own needs. This is separate from your programme which is there to help you change.
First Interviews
These are between one and four meetings with a member of the project's staff to assess what changes you wish to make and whether the group programme is suitable for you.
What happens on the group programme?
We work mainly in small groups. The groups are held in the evening, with groups starting at 7pm, meeting weekly.
Stage One
The first stage of the programme will focus on ending physical abuse. The programme will help you to take responsibility for your own actions and have control over your own life. Once you have stopped your violence for around three months you will move on to the next part of the programme.
Stage Two
Building a respectful relationship is not only about ending your violence but ending the other behaviours you used to control your partner.
It takes 32 sessions to complete stage one and two. Men who complete the programme can join the fortnightly follow-up group to support you in maintaining the changes you have already made
How do I get help?
- Phone us on 020 8563 7983
- Email us at vpp@dvip.org
Write to us at DVIP, PO Box 2838, London, W6 9ZE
You may be telling yourself:
- It will never happen again
How many times have you said this? Do something before the next time
- It's not me, she pushes me too far
Only you can take control over your own behaviour and learn not to be violent or abusive whatever the situation
- I can't help it, I just lose control
You can choose to change and stop being violent and abusive. Do you want to?
How bad will it need to get before you do something? Contact DVIP now!
