This is a very accessible book which tells the stories of about 20 women who have experienced domestic violence and how they coped with this and eventually left the relationship. It clearly demonstrates the complexity of leaving and shows that far from being a quick and easy decision to follow through, it is a long process that can take years.

The book can help women in violent relationships to realise that they are not the only ones who are going through this, domestic violence is a very isolating experience. Women in violent relationships also tend to find the book very useful because they identify with the stories of the women. These show the tremendous perseverance, strength and will to survive that women in these situations often have, and this helps women readers to recognise these qualities in themselves. As the title suggests the book also shows the clever way in which abusive men convincingly blame their women partners for the abuse, which becomes the ultimate abuse because it traps them into self-blame and thus silences them. It clearly shows that leaving is a process, and women may recognise that they are somewhere in that process so there is hope for their future. This can put their situation into perspective.

The book is useful for professionals because it shows how very hard the process of leaving is and how everything and everyone seems to conspire against women to do this, yet many women do still leave eventually.

I think ultimately the book shows that far from us needing to ask the question ‘why don’t women leave?’ we should be pondering ‘isn’t it amazing that any women leave at all.’

Buy this book:
All My Fault
by Dee Dee Glass

Paperback - 224 pages (June 1994)
Virago Press; ISBN: 1853817961
£7.19